Chinaza, and her new life in New York with Dave her new husband. If one spouse values a simple lifestyle and the other values accumulating wealth, it doesnt matter how well they communicate, their basic life orientation will present constant opportunities for conflict. She had come to America expecting a big house with a big driveway, like she saw on the programs on television. One partner may really want children and feels marriage would not be complete without a child, while the other is ambivalent or, worse, thinks children would impinge upon their lifestyle. As a result many people will look for love outside of marriage, which is a threatening factor by itself.
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Removing the nonessentials has allowed us to focus more on the essentials. Often people with different personalities can work out accommodations as long as the difference is not too extreme or on too many different fronts. In chapter one, we learned the real truths behind those myths and how those myths came about. Common values assessment, circle the values that are most important to you. And a date-night once in awhile wouldnt hurt either. Suffering and delayed gratification have no use and are to be avoided. These will not change without violating ones integrity and conscience. Holding an attitude of superiority over your partner will bring about resentment and will prevent your relationship from moving forward. A selfish person is committed only to himself or herself, shows little patience, and never learns how to be a successful spouse. One or both parents claim this for reasons such as no time and energy for their relationship and having a child adds financial restraints.